Solomon, the twenty year old son of our host, dropped round to say hi to everyone the other night, and we had a very frank discussion about my poor use of his native tongue.
I can always tell when Solomon is over because the girls in the house suddenly become scarce / overdressed. This particular time I saw Em in the living room wrapped in a blanket despite the thirty-plus-degree heat. I found Solomon in the kitchen playing with his mobile phone.
'Mambo?' he asked me (how are you?)
'Poa' i said 'kachisi kama ndisi' (I am cool like a banana)
Solomon then very ernestly explained to me that it would be very uncool for me to talk like this.
'No, do not say this. I have not heard this since I am a child. You must never say this.'
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